I wrote a few thoughts on «L.O.V.E. After 1 Year of Marriage» in my notebook and I wanted to share with you some ideas. I hope they’re useful.
In a few months, we will accomplish 2 years of marriage and that’s just crazy.
We met in 2013, almost 4 years ago and life has been just amazing to us. We have received so many blessings from above along the way, we don’t have a lifetime to thank God for them.
If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing, I would still pick him as my husband.
Today I want to talk to you about some things I’ve seen and learned in my marriage until now. If you want to get married, you should know that marriage involves work. It will not all be as gorgeous as your honeymoon. But it’s extremely rewarding. I wouldn’t change it in the world.
When the honeymoon is over, the marriage begins and it’s so amazing to get to know a person so much, to spend your life loving them.
When you start living together, you will see that you don’t think exactly the same and you have some differences about small things. (If you have differences about some bigger things, you have a problem, you have to discuss it seriously)
Maybe you want to buy healthier foods, and he wants all the snacks, maybe he’s not so organized as you are, or he doesn’t like so much to make the bed.
In all these things, and more, communication has to be a priority. To talk about helping each other, working as a team. Don’t sneak around with words, talk straight with him, tell him what you want him to do, don’t be afraid to communicate with your husband.
But more importantly, don’t stress yourself with little things he doesn’t do, don’t try to make him be like you, don’t try to change him. When you take off all the weight of stressing with little things, like changing the toilet paper, you will live a happier life, I guarantee you.
Do you know how many couples fight about changing the toilet paper? A lot. Do you know why husbands don’t always change it? Because they FORGET. They don’t stress about these little things, so they forget.
Try to let the little things go and be happy. Don’t forget to always communicate to your husband, it’s a lifesaver.
Don’t ever yell at your husband, unless your house is on fire. Of course, everything can apply to husband and wife, but now I am talking as a wife.
I come from a family where there was a lot of yelling, so I was kinda used to yell, even though I knew that’s not right.
On the other hand, my husband comes from a family where there was no yelling, he lived in a loving family, so we came with different baggage in the marriage.
I HAD to learn how to not yell at my husband and let the little things go. There is a process of learning the good things like you learned the bad ones.
If you yell at your husband or don’t respect him by saying bad words to him, you should really start exercising to not yell.
I don’t say it’s gonna be easy because it’s not, but it’s useful for your marriage.
Always respect him. Don’t ever say a bad word to him, a word that hurts, because that stains the heart. You can apologize but the stain remains there.
Don’t raise your tone, always talk with kind words to your husband.
Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24
Remember that you love your husband and you don’t want to hurt him with your words. This is especially towards the wife because we use our words to hurt.
It’s very easy to slip a word that hurts, and you can’t take it back. But as you are used to hurting people, you can totally change your behavior by having a kind heart. It takes will and exercise but you can do it.
In marriage, we have arguments because we live in a sinful world, but when you find yourself in one, always remember:
- I love him, so I don’t want to hurt him with my words
- I respect him
- I cherish him
- I will not yell at him
- I will not even raise my voice at him
- I will communicate with him about my feelings
- I will not pretend from him to know what I’m thinking
- I will not keep grudges on him after the discussion is over
- I will not forget to tell him how much I love him
- I will not make a scene, run into the bathroom or bedroom
- I will act in an adult manner
Love takes actions. Love is not just butterflies, it’s hard work and commitment to the other person. If you’re not willing to give yourself to the other person, don’t get married.
Another important lesson is to not talk bad about your husband with your friends, or even talk about your intimate things. This makes your husband not trust you with his feelings, if you listen and then, tell to another person.
When I was a teenager, I thought I knew what love is, but I really didn’t. Even after I met my husband, I thought I knew what love is and I didn’t.
I was so in love with him, I wanted to talk to him all the time, to be with him all the time. My happiness depended on him, when I was with him I was the happiest, when we were apart, I was miserable.
That wasn’t such a healthy way of seeing love. Now I don’t cry when I can’t speak with him, we both work, but I love that special moment when we meet at home, after a day at work. I wouldn’t exchange this in the world.
Those were great moments when we started to know each other better, but this is so much better. Now we have a better connexion, love to one another, respect, intimacy.
I know that we are married for just a short period of time, but we have learned some valuable things by now.
We make each other happy.
Life goes by so fast, and it’s a shame to spend it fighting.
Kiss more often. Don’t ever forget to say «I love you», hugs can cure your marriage. Hug everyday.
Don’t ever fall asleep mad at each other. This is a very important thing that can hurt your relationship.
And remember: love takes action.
Do you have some valuable lessons that you learned on your marriage journey? Would you share it with us? So that we can learn from each other.